Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Late Nights and Early Mornings

This semester is beginning to be extremely tough. 8 am classes EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's killing me. Not to mention staying up late doesn't help one bit. As of about the second day of school I am certainly ready for christmas break. 

On another note, things in my "new" life are going pretty well it seems. Cape has done well the past few months. Of course there were a few rocky places but me being me, I've quickly gotten over them.  I think this decision was made for the better and I will always believe that no matter what. 

Side note: one thing I cannot stand is bitter exes and their stupid lies they tell everyone. No dick head I didn't cheat on you and never did. Never would I stoop so low as to the level you are currently at. One, you're an alcoholic. Two, you're an asshole. Three, no one wants to being around you because you're depressing. I honestly think you talk to my mom more than I do. 

Another side note: my unappreciative brother. I chose to go to school, I chose to graduate, get good grades, get my diploma, go to college and better my education and future. You, on te other hand did not. Get used to it not being fair. It never will be. You chose your life and I chose mine. Clearly we can tell who made the better decision here. Maybe if you get your head out of HER ass you could see things in a different light. But let me keep that to myself because that's a different story. 

After about three tangents I'm don't venting and going on a rant. Until next time...

Just saying....

Friday, August 10, 2012

I Believe

I believe—
that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
 
I believe—
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
 
I believe—
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
 
I believe—
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
 
I believe—
that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
 
I believe—
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
 
I believe—
that you can keep going long after you can't.
 
I believe—
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
 
I believe—
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
 
I believe—
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
 
I believe—
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
 
I believe—
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
 
I believe—
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
 
I believe—
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
 
I believe—
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
 
I believe—
that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
 
I believe—
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
 
I believe—
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
 
I believe—
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
 
I believe—
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
 
I believe—
that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
 
I believe—
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
 
I believe—
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
 
I believe—
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
 
I believe—
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
 
I believe—
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
 
I believe—
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Can't Sleep

Well since I am unable to sleep, I decided to update my blog. =] 
The one thing that I have kept encountering is how terrible summers in Cape Geezy are. I work, and go out; sometimes I'll throw a curve ball into the mix and go to the water park but when I say it's completely different from STL. One thing I can say for sure is I miss going to the zoo every day of my life during summer. I also miss the lack of seeing my closest friends but I guess lately I can't complain. 
Doing nothing all day makes me miss going to class. As awful as that sounds it's completely true. But I can wait for them to start. 8 AMs every day for an entire semester is going to kick my a**. Shiiittttttttt but I'm so ready to start my forensic chemistry and training classes. Shit is getting real.
Anyways, in about a week, Amanda Sue and Brit are visiting me for the first time! SO excited to show them the Geezy bar scene.. ha! If only one of my friends wasn't consumed by his crazy psycho girlfriend. *cough cough*. But that's another story that I'll elaborate on when I update this damn thing in another 30 days or so. 
#JustSaying...


Saturday, May 5, 2012

This one is for Amanda Sue


Since obviously I haven't written on here in a while, let me update my life. A lot of things have changed, for the better; I have never been happier and I'm excited to say that. I've made many life changing decisions that I believe, along with my family and friends, that was ultimately better for me. Maturity, fun and random nights have been in my life lately and I love it! Don't let anyone hold you back or keep you from being who you truly are. For the last three years that was my life. From my senior year of high school to junior year of college I have been trying to please one person by not being who I truly am. That's the most fucked up part about it, I changed for someone else. I let them change me. And for what? Heartbreak? Lies? Immaturity? All of the above. Everyone has their own opinions and views on what has happened but I don't care. I'm in a better place now and I love every minute of it! Now I know to never sacrifice my happiness for someone who doesn't make me happy. So all of the haters can #suckit and stop creepin'. #Bitches 

Just Saying...




Sunday, January 29, 2012

Sunday Evening

Distancing yourself from the one's you love can be the hardest thing someone can do. I try to distance myself because I know sometimes I get too close and too personal with people and then get let down. Ever since my first relationship with whom we will call Mr. Wrong. I call him this because I literally  have no idea what the hell I was thinking when we dated. But then again I was young and "in love". 
Yuck. 
Anyways ever since the falling out of that relationship I've put up a wall to everyone: boyfriends, friends, best friends, parents, and siblings. I hate letting my emotions show but hey, I am a female, things do happen. We all know this for a fact. When entering college I luckily already had a two year relationship under my belt and that was pretty solid so I knew that I wasn't interested in any of the male types SEMO had to offer, which wasn't much but hicks, football players, and frat boys. Slim pickin's I would say. 
Friendships back home became distant, relationships became troubled and I no longer cared about people who decided not to be there for me. If you weren't going to help me and listen to me then why should I offer the same to you?
I won't.  
I can honestly say I haven't met someone that I would confide in and tell my deepest, darkest secrets to down in good 'ol Cape because I just know that when the year ends, when we all graduate, we won't stay in touch. Maybe for a few weeks, possibly the whole "I miss you, we should hang out sometime" routine that happens with girls, or the "dude, we should party sometime" episode offered by the gentlemen. And this is just being nice.
I am glad to say however that distancing myself from people has enabled me to sit back and watch people burn slowly into their own pit of shame. It's embarrassing to sit and watch people spiral into a whore or drunken idiot; though sometimes fun. 

Putting up a wall has made it easier to say "no" to practically everyone and everything that could possibly end badly or even terribly.  I will not be that famous player on campus' next hookup, I will not be the drunken girl stumbling and throwing up in the bar bathroom, and I will not be the one looking like an idiot doing the famous Walk-Of-Shame.

I have witnessed a lot of famous stereotypes college has prepared me for and offered and can gladly say that was not me. I only said hi to that girl once because I knew we weren't going to be best friends the next day. 


I said no to that guy because it wasn't worth losing my best friend and boyfriend over. 
Although it would be much, much easier to physically have a wall around me when I need it so I don't even have to explain why I don't want to talk to you or get close to you, but until technology exceeds curtains, I will just have to deal. Have a wonderful Sunday evening..


Just saying....

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Girls, Girls, Girls

I've been a little distant lately, and what can I say upset. I never get really close with people at SEMO because I know the friendship at some point won't last. Whether it's because I graduate in a year, they became annoying, or because I get too pissed off at them. I'm at that point now. I can not seem to help it. 

I literally have maybe two girl friends that I can tell anything to without judgement and I always know I'll love them no matter what. Granted one, who is my closet friend, I have known since I was 10, the other since I was 15. I am now 21; you do the math. We all went to different colleges and manage to keep in touch and hang out whenever we are all in the same place. Anyways, now that I have gotten off on a tangent...back to me bitching. I've tried my best to not be such a bitch to girls but I just don't seem to get along with them. I probably have 15 guy friends for every one girl friend. It's bad. 

Every time I make an attempt at a girl friendship I always either get replaced by someone new or more convenient, or I can not stand them when we go out together because drunk girls with no morals or inhibitions in college are like crack whores in East St. Louis. Every year since I have been at SEMO something along these lines has happened. My freshman year...check; sophomore year...check; junior year...check. But for some reason I will just sit back and watch it happen because there is nothing I can do. All in all the moral of the story is;
 I..HATE...FEMALES...

Just Saying...

Monday, January 16, 2012

Highway Robbery

School begins tomorrow and I have one class to worry about besides cheerleading practice. It has me thinking I feel like I did more in high school than I'm doing out have done in college. 8 hours a day with class during every hour. But now I gave one class a day feeling a as if I'm wasting away the rest of the day sleeping or doing nothing. I went to school for eight hours a day, forty hours a week but now I'm only allowed to gave eighteen credit hours [eighteen hours a week] and I'm paying $12000 a year for a limited amount of schooling I have no control over. Compared to practically free education. Its highway robbery but someone has to do it. Forensic science here I come. 
 Just saying....